I miss this

Hey guys. Long time no post. And I hate that. More so because I know I can fix it if I just put myself back on that horse, and spend time on this website. My life right now has reached a crossroads of sorts and it's been affecting my photography projects, namely Reading & Reviewing, for a while now.

I got engaged in May Next year, I'll be getting married, which for us is our first step of starting a family. I'm 5 months away from my 30th birthday, and while I'm not afraid of the big Three Oh!, it is a milestone in life nonetheless and it's allowing me to evaluate what I want out of my life from here on out, apart from, obviously, starting a family.

The past year I've had a job which has been good in the sense that it has offered me some stability in income (much welcome next to my small but growing photography business), little as it was, and a routine. But I've become physically exhausted by and frustrated with it, and that in turn has been affecting my mood and my drive. So I've made the decision to quit. I don't want to be stuck in a routine and a job that makes me miserable to a tee. I don't want to do a job that makes me feel worthless, rather than useful.

I have 4 more weeks to go and I'm counting, counting, counting the final days. I'll be looking for a small but more grounded job in the meantime, and continue to grow my photography business, about which I'm getting truly excited again. (It has also suffered the past few months.) It was a job, a small job, but it made me lose my focus and my sense of self. I stopped having fun. I don't want to turn 30 in January and not be and feel who I truly am. I miss having ambition, I miss having plans, I miss having fun.

Counting down the days. It's been nice out, sunny. I'm reading… because I can. I am back to allowing myself to relax and sit down with a book. To me it's meaningful. To me it's resting my mind and body. I haven't allowed myself to do that much this year and it's taken me a while to realize that I've needed it more than any other time. I miss this. I miss reading and taking notes in my Moleskine. I miss being a dork and dressing up. I've felt too serious, too stressed, too stiff, for too long. Photography allows me to express myself; Reading & Reviewing allows me to have fun while also attempting to create something worthwhile.

Wow. This post turned out to be a hell of a lot more real and personal than I'd planned. I was going to post a photo or something and say, "Guess what! R&R is BACK!" but… this whole post has been about getting back to being me. And I'm just wordy and slightly emotional about things. And I've spent a lot of time and effort on this project in the past. It deserved a proper "comeback announcement".

One thing I will be doing from here on out for this project: I will stop making promises I can't keep. So I won't say when I'll post my next review. Just that it will be posted, and that I will try to get it ready soon. And that it will be of (what else?) one of the most discussed / read books at the moment: Fifty Shades of Grey.

I hope you'll check back in to read that review. Thanks for reading this post.