Diamonds

An old unpublished excerpt of my pieces. Sometimes you need reminders of where you've been and where you are going.

{Press Play.}

3.29.14
Someone told me that I don't know humility. From the outside, it may not appear that way. But I do. The past year humbled me like never before. It brought me to what I felt like was the lowest inside. There were days, exhausted days, where it was hard to smile. My heart wept even when I wasn't. At 28, life stared me straight in the face and asked the question, "What are you going to do with your one, amazing life?" And with no choice but my own, I let that question haunt me minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day...
When you are forced to look deep within yourself - when you are forced to push all of your faults to the forefront - when you know that you can't go through this world alone - that's when you find humility.
It forces you to turn to someone, some thing, and get down on your knees and pray for strength, grace, and an answer. Over and over and over again I'd ask, 'What is it? What do you want from me? What is my path?'
The first time, it took God 12 months to answer my prayer. A whole entire year for a - hits you smack dab in the middle of the face - answer. Sure there were small promptings looking back. But in order to move forward, I needed that ONE big answer. Shortly after that, another one came, that literally threw me forward and said, 'You will feel like this no more.' Two distinct prayers. Two distinct answers. Within hours of asking.
I don't know how it works. I don't know what God has in store for us. But I know He does not lead us astray. He listens. And He waits. Until you have endured everything in that moment that you can endure. When you think you can't go on. When you think you can't...
But I can. I will. Because I choose to run with wild abandon towards the life that I know waits for me. The unsounding call to a higher purpose of love, passion, connection, growth. One that prompts you to never settle. Where your soul can be wild and free. Your heart safe and protected. These moments are the ones we keep living for. The ones we continue to build and create. The ones that feel too much to endure? They are just the points in our lives that shape us. You see. We are like diamonds. Heated to enormous degrees. Squeezed under pressure. And over time, we become strong, brilliant and rare. So are our hearts. Strong. Brilliant. Rare.