On Picking Myself Up Again.

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It's funny and comforting how life easily changes its course. If I updated my blog a little more than a month ago, this post would have a completely different vibe. August was definitely a hard and painful month for me, as I had to pick myself up and accept the fact that I need to let go of certain things. It was an agonising process that I had to go through day after day. I think the hardest part was waking up in the morning and realising that it's another new day that I need to endure. Another day of remembering all the things that are causing me pain. Another day of wishing that I could somehow just take a break from everything, but I know I couldn't because the world doesn't stop for anyone. Even though it was too hard to get the fuck out of bed and face reality, I had to.
Week after week, things somehow got better. I went out of town, joined a camp, met tons of new friends, caught up with old friends, spent a shit ton of money for make-up and clothes, read books, watched TV series, stayed over at friends' house, and many other things that I haven't done for a while. I kept myself busy and stepped out of my comfort zone. And somehow, it helped me realise a lot of things, as well as look at life in a different perspective. In those weeks, I managed to pull myself out of the grave that I buried myself in.
I would be lying if I say that I'm completely ok now - of course not. There are still days when I feel completely "off" and wish that things ended differently. But I am glad that in most days, I knew that it was the right decision and I'm better off where I am now. That I deserve better and know that everything happened for a reason. That life has so many things in store for me, and I cannot wait to witness it.
Now, waking up in the morning isn't so hard anymore. I am no longer greeted by painful memories and emotions. Waking up no longer means it's another day to endure pain, but rather facing opportunities that lie ahead in front of me. I'm beginning to love myself again, and no longer wish to just 'disappear' from everything. I've already accepted the fact that I can't go back and need to just keep moving forward.
If I updated my blog a little more than a month ago, I would not have talked about hope and acceptance. I was in a completely different state. And I am glad that I am able to share a positive one instead of pain and misery. I do know that all of us have our own problems that drag us down in the most painful way. And I also know that we can get through this. I know for sure that this isn't the last time when life will test my strength but I find comfort in knowing the fact that when that dreaded time comes, I know I can get through it again. No matter what and how hard it is.
So if you're reading this and going through something that you think you'll never overcome, I hope you find solace in knowing that everything that you're feeling right now is temporary. It might be still there tomorrow, you might still be dreading waking up in the morning. But I know for sure that it will pass soon enough.