Ask a French Girl About Stress

I think we’ve collectively agreed, for the most part and ad nauseam, that because someone is French, she is inherently cool. We will trust her advice when it comes to getting our shit together (because don’t all French people have life figured out?), finding a work-life balance, friendship and…everything else. But when it comes to stress, people are just people.

Which means for this go-round of “Ask a French Girl,” what we’re really doing is asking a friend:

Do you experience anxiety? How do you talk yourself down from an anxiety attack?

Yes, I do. In the era we live in, we’re always connected, stimulations are pushed to their extremes. These phones have way too many notifications. If I have an anxiety moment, it’s as though I am not at peace with something, which is painful. In that case, I have two friends who are the best at helping me take some sort of distance from it. When they are busy, I have two solutions:

– To stop thinking about it, I try to make up jokes.
– To find a way to overcome and be fine with the situation, I write about it or start a new project at the office.

Do Parisians meditate? Is that a thing there yet?

Nope, this is not a thing in France. French are more raw in the sense that they would say, “Oh, I’m super stressed, I need to release it; let’s go for a weekend — a drink, a dinner.”

There is no such a thing as over hearing someone say, “I had an anxiety attack so I used the zen app on my phone to meditate between the appetizer and the main course, and now I can enjoy the fish so much better because my virtual yogie friend helped me.”

What do you do to create some zen?

Living in NYC taught me how to be present physically but mentally somewhere else. You can’t always have a room with the little fountain noise, the feng shui set up and the incense burning. You have to create your world of calm — at the office, in the street, anywhere, with sometimes nothing. Now, I’m not an anxious person, but candles at home, walking by the water or classical music are things that definitely help. Best tool of them all? Being alone and doing something for yourself. Or sleep.

What books or poems (or movies or music, even?) helped you get out of a rough place? Do you ever read actual self-help books?

I have read some books that I have loved and taught me a lot, not because they are offering specific lessons but because I read them at moment where I was open to grow.

What does a rough place mean anyway? Everything always evolves, so I think it is ok to go through phases you are being challenged.

A movie? La Piscine for the lavender smell it spreads the moment it starts.
A music? The one I don’t know the lyrics of but makes me dance until way too late at night.
A poem? “Le Corbeau et le Renard,” because I was so young when I learned it and I still know it.

What are your irrational fears?

Life under the sea. Yep, I’ve seen Finding Nemo, nope it didn’t change anything. Still petrified. Do not ask about Ariel the mermaid, either. I still fear life under the sea.

Any tips to tricking yourself into feeling awesome?

Shower and wash you hair. Open the window and put on some music. Play it loud. Dance. Make your bed. Laugh at yourself for doing it while dancing. Eat veggies and call your parents!

We’ve been thinking a lot about normal success — how, in the age of 2o-something-millionaire entrepreneurs, it’s hard to remember that these people are NOT the norm. Being successful has so many different meanings. I guess I’m curious to know: How you define it?

Success? It’s being happy with the result of a project. Make your sister laugh after a joke: Success. Your friend likes the pasta pasta alla arrabiata you made: Success. Smile at a stranger and he smiles back (he has to show the teeth or else it doesn’t count): Success.

So many way to measure them, and the best news? I have never heard of a small success.

Okay, one more thing to end it on a light note. Summer’s almost here: What are you most excited about?

My friends’ weddings, body oil on our skin, tomato mozzarella, sharing plates with olive oil, rosé! Of course, the smell of flowers, warmth at 8pm, warmth at 7am, long walks and conversation, white shirts and lemon dresses, seeing my family in Europe, open toe shoes, being late to dinners but your friends are fine with it, weekends at the beach, freckles coming back, dancing outside and dresses, dresses, dresses…

And sand in our city bags on Monday morning.

Laura wearing a Dolce & Gabbana skirt, vintage top — similar here, Club Monaco sweater, Rondini shoes, basket tote from a market — similar here, Gag&Lou jewelry; photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.

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