Ever since giving birth, all my love and energy has gone into that little man who once was a pipe dream and is now a tiny human made up of big smiles, little chub rolls and fierce eyebrows (where did they come from?!). From day one, I was a mama who relished in the fact that easy little B, was a little too easy. Who were all these mothers dying of exhaustion? Not me. Sighing as I slipped into a bubbly bath, dyptique lit (breathing in the dewy wooden scent). Slowly sipping on a daily coffee (a chocolately black fuel of dreams). This is what me time is? Isn't it? Months down the line, I found out: no.
Around seven months in, exhaustion hit me like a brick wall. Where did it come from? What was I doing wrong? Yes, sleep regression had creeped its head for a third time, but that was easily fixed by retreating with my not-unwilling husband to the sofa bed. A bed we'd gotten so used to back in our lodger days. So what was it? The days went on and all I wanted to do was sleep. I couldn't entertain the now crawling little squidge as he too'd and frowed from record player cable to guitar to telly box. Lunging after him in an endless cycle; my own mini, unwanted workout.
So I stopped to think. What the hell was wrong with me?
And then it hit.
Nutrition. A word I'd gotten so used to durring pregnancy. Swallowing vitamins in textbook proportions. Making sure to get them through eating a good breakfast or brunch...oh god, brunch! A thing of fairytales. In the haze of night feedings, turned to weaning - cooking mouth watering foods for Baxter that even I would indulge in (he loves a good cous cous and chili), I forgot to feed myself.
Quickly, I ran to the cupboard and pulled out the vitamins that my community health worker gave me less than a week into bringing the squidge home (was she from a fairytale too?). Gathering up enough saliva to swallow one in desperation. The hour passed and seemingly instantly I felt a lift. Was that it?? If only.
Although coffee and a nice bubbly soak is great for a quick fix. I've found my ultimate me time is through vitamins and a healthy breakfast every day. Simple, yet so simple to forget in the throws of new motherhood.
Mamas, papas and my beautiful readers: take five minutes to make yourself the best you. It's what I'm learning to do, and I feel much damn better for it.