The end of a marriage can be stressful intensely

The end of a marriage can be stressful intensely. Emotions flare as a couple tries to resolve issues like alimony often, child custody, and child support. Unfortunately, the traditional divorce process can deepen hostility between the spouses when they confront important questions concerning their future. In many situations, couples whose relationship is not abusive or completely broken should consider pursuing an alternative to divorce through the courts. best divorce attorney near me

This alternative can consist of asking a neutral mediator to help the couple settle property distribution, child and spousal support, and all of the other key issues that arise when a marriage ends. A mediator can listen to the interests of each spouse, tell them how a court would rule on any disputed issue, and help them draft a divorce agreement that a court is likely to approve. People find mediators through personal referrals often, but it is also possible to find a capable mediator or by asking your lawyer for a suggestion online. However, the lawyer of either spouse may not be the mediator.

Mediation has been successful for many divorcing spouses seeking to make a plan for the future that satisfies each of them. It might be a much less expensive and time-consuming process than going to court for hearings, and everything that is discussed during mediation remains confidential (as opposed to litigation proceedings, which are public hearings). Mediation offers spouses more flexibility than the traditional divorce process because they can make their own decisions on key issues, within legal limits, than asking a court to make them rather. Entrusting a court with deciding who lives with your child or how much alimony you have to pay can be a nerve-wracking experience. Mediation allows you to avoid that unpredictability and is usually more likely to produce a stable long-term result.

Although it might sound like arbitration, mediation is a different process distinctly. In a binding arbitration (not all arbitrations are binding), the arbitrator functions as a judge, making decisions that are binding on each spouse, whereas a mediator cannot make binding decisions. If an impasse is usually reached by the spouses in their negotiations, a mediator might recommend a solution. But you cannot be forced by a mediator to reach a settlement.

Many states have begun to require that divorcing spouses go to mediation for certain sensitive issues, visitation rights especially and child custody. The main difference between court-ordered and private mediation is usually that private mediation can cover many more issues related to divorce. For example, it can be used by you to divide your property or handle other financial matters. To make mediation as effective as possible, you should listen to your spouse and leave your mind open to compromise. Sometimes starting with relatively minor issues is a good way to open this conversation before addressing more important and contested areas.

Choosing Between Traditional Mediation and Divorce

Despite all of its advantages, mediation might not be the ideal solution for every couple going through a divorce. It tends to work especially well when both spouses are content with the decision to part ways and have relatively little lingering animosity toward each other. Each spouse should feel able to communicate openly and honestly with the other spouse while trusting that the other spouse will do the same. When children are involved in a dissolving marriage, confidence that each spouse is a good parent can help lead to a successful outcome in mediation.

Some instances when mediation is less effective include a relationship troubled by domestic substance or violence abuse. When one spouse intimidates or dominates the other regularly, the spouse in the subservient role might not be able to fully articulate his or her interests in mediation. Also, some spouses grow so bitter toward each other as their marriage breaks down that they cannot talk directly to each other anymore. This may make mediation less effective because respect and candor are essential to the process. When one spouse has deceived or misled the other spouse deliberately, the necessary layer of trust might be missing that makes mediation work. If you are in one of these situations, you may prefer using a more conventional divorce process to make sure that your rights are adequately guarded.

Using a Lawyer in Mediation

You might be concerned that you don’t know the law well enough to protect your rights during mediation, if you do some research on your own to prepare even. However, you can use a lawyer of your choice during the mediation process. If you enlist the help of a lawyer, choose someone who is usually familiar not with family legislation principles but also with the mediation process just. This lawyer can advise you on negotiation techniques, explain relevant legal concepts, and review any resulting agreement to make sure that it is valid and protects your rights.

Collaborative Divorce

If negotiating with your spouse through mediation makes you uncomfortable directly, you might want to consider another alternative to divorce through the courts. This is a process called collaborative divorce, when each spouse finds a separate attorney to help negotiate an agreement. An attorney must undergo specialized training to practice in the certain area of collaborative divorce, which means that these specialized attorneys shall know how to handle any situation that arises in the process. Each spouse meets with his or her attorney individually, and then all four people (both spouses and both attorneys) will meet as a group to resolve any conflicts. Like mediation, collaborative divorce tends to unfold across a series of confidential meetings. Like mediation also, it is less time-consuming than formal divorce proceedings generally. If the attempt to reach an agreement fails, the attorneys involved will not represent either spouse at a contested hearing.

Whether you choose mediation or collaborative divorce, you will need to have some contact with a court to finalize the dissolution of your marriage. But this should be brief and painless if it is an uncontested petition simply. Courts have grown accustomed to the use of mediation and collaborative divorce, so it is likely that any legal, valid agreement shall be accepted.