How to Find True Friends
A true friend is someone who understands you and is there for your when you need him/her. He/she never lets you down. He/she’s the right kind of person. But in reality, it is entirely different. Maybe you should not contemplate friendship with impossible expectations, but recognize it for what it is, that is rewarding but also demanding an account that can’t be more sublime. Friendship is like love, it is found but it is built.
People idealize friendship and many misconceptions and delusions depend on the contradiction between ideal and real. The standard depth of friendship often use the degree of intimacy achieved and the depth of confidences, but in reality true friendship should be measured on the ability to deal with the ambivalence and accompany change.
In the joy and not only in pain
Paradoxically, it is easier to stay close to a friend in times of difficulty than at the stages of transformation and growth, even if they are good. It helps to understand the difficulties when you discuss it with them and not let negative feelings rule. And if the thing is contrary, that is to say and Of course; you can bet your life! at a given moment there is close enough, we should reflect especially if in the past he / she has given us evidence of affection. It is meaningless to ask a friend what they can actually give and nothing more.
A sort of falling
This enables the friendships to last in time and have the ability to tackle ambivalences and changes; but it is impossible to determine in advance if this capacity is there or not, because it is discovered along the way. Love in friendship usually begins with a “falling in love”, a spark under the sign of affinity or complementarity, a time when we smell and we like, but then continue and evolve together with the other ingredients, such as confidence, respect, acceptance and the ability to care.
No exclusivity
A relationship of friendship totalizing which does not allow other people has something suspicious going on. FRIENDSHIP requires harmony, but at the same time autonomy and above all, it should make us better people. The only sound is the symbiotic relationship between mother and child in the first months of life; then there should never be symbiosis because we speak a form of abuse, where a person is strangling or dominates the other.
Differences and reciprocity
Among the most frequent causes of the rupture of friendship is the inability to accept differences and the uniqueness of the other. However this is rarely happening and when a friend reacts to our opinion in an inappropriate manner we feel offended, disappointed and betrayed and do not consider the possibility simpler that you are not us, and is following another logical thread. Equality is not identity. Finally to be true friends, there must be a mutual desire of friendship between friends.
