mail order bride

The question of marriage can and should be looked at from different angles. Let's start with clarification mail order bride what kind of man are we talking about? For example, a young man who grew up in the tenacious arms of an imperious mother - why does he need a family? Or a man who went through three marriages that collapsed because of his unbearable jealousy - why should he? Or just a guy in love from a family with strong ancestral traditions - what drives him? There are many options. Still, some points can be generalized.

She article turned out to be long, so if you don't have time to read it in its entirety now, add it to your bookmarks and read it later - with a fresh mind and in a relaxed atmosphere.

So

As awful as it sounds, the whole modern institution of the family is based on neurotic motivation. In the old days, when "love marriage" simply did not exist, starting a family was a matter of survival or political strategy. Now the family is seen as a means of achieving some kind of mental comfort. Roughly speaking, nowadays families are created to have fun. Not necessarily the obvious, like sex, warmth, and affection. - Often it means the satisfaction of some deep-seated needs, such as self-affirmation, getting rid of loneliness, desire for power and the like. And if before the families went under the label "So it is necessary", now the process and the choice of a partner are led exclusively by "I Want".

What do we all want?

Here we cannot do without a small classification - we, men, need to be put on the shelves. To begin with, let's take a more understandable and familiar option - an extrovert man. Who are introverts and extroverts, I hope you know?

An extrovert man, if he grew up in an ordinary family and never really thought about the “meaning of life,” is a typical representative of the strong half of humanity. The very image that is advertised on TV. He is active, he is sociable, he loves sports (at least from a fan's bench), he loves beer in a men's company, he is ambitious and initiative. In relationships with women, he tries to play a leading role (although he rarely succeeds). All womanizers and hero-lovers are extroverts. All boors and impudent people are extroverts. All heroes of cool action movies are extroverts. When women say that all men are bastards, this is also about extroverts. Recognizable?

See also the description of the type of "male lover" in the article Husbands and Lovers - Two Types of Men.

So why, in general, would an extrovert man need a woman? About marriage will be a little lower. Since we are talking about a "normal" man, without any special psychological quirks, we mean that, like everyone else around, he is not sure of himself.

Yes, he looks very confident - he has a loud voice, he is not afraid to express his opinion and get involved in other people's affairs with a very knowing look. However, behind such external activity there are very deep doubts about oneself. It's just that, unlike introverted nerds who hide in dark corners due to self-doubt, extroverts do exactly the opposite - they, figuratively speaking, climb onto the stands and prove to everyone around their value, importance and magnificence. But this is still the same uncertainty.

And so, this our "normal man" is looking for a woman. Since society requires him to be cool and better than others (the pole of “pride”), then he approaches the choice of a woman for reasons of strengthening his status. Several scenarios are possible - either he will strive to conquer many women (don Juan), or he will strive to conquer one, but very “cool” aunt, or something in between. One way or another, he will strive to subjugate a woman - to win and master. Extroverts are possessive, and their jealousy is anger for disobedience. At their worst, extroverted men become tyrants who do not disdain to be assaulted (but these are extreme cases).

It turns out that an extrovert man at the expense of a woman is asserting himself. A woman for him is a means of strengthening his male and social status. From here grow the roots of all those typical family problems that then happen to them. The husband finds himself in the role of an insensitive and demanding despot, while the wife thinks that “nobody loves her” - she lacks “warmth and understanding”.

I intentionally thicken the colors to bring out the characteristic details. In life, usually, everything is not so aggravated and not so obvious. Therefore, do not rush to argue and prove that "it is not so" with you. Look, better where I am leading all this.

Why does a "normal" extrovert man need a family? There is a saying: "A man pays for sex in marriage, and a woman pays for marriage with sex." This is just our case, if you remember that sex is the very thing that creates in a man a sense of victory and power over a woman. By marriage, an extrovert man buys for himself a lifetime exclusive right to assert himself at the expense of this particular woman.