Spamalot

Apologies for recent slackery. But look I've cleaned myself up rather nicely to pop in to say hello! I was out at a bit of a do last week and will catch up properly with you all next week. Meanwhile I have a deeply poignant soul-searching question...

What is it about pink flamingos that they can so easily flap away with my heart in their bill, make me a feel like I'm a protagonist in a Carl Hiaasen novel or waiting for a sockless Don Johnson to pick me up in a Maserati reclaimed from a cocaine kingpin? Hermes flamingo party scarf is driving me utterly crazy with lust and it's pink, which is of course, my least favourite colour as it matches my Spam coloured legs and arms. You can keep those haughty unicorns, which I just found out a few months ago are Scotland's national animal - that says a lot about our grip on reality - someone buy this, send me a modelling shot and put me out of my misery.

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