On Easter: Do Not Abandon Yourselves to Despair…

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime.

…..Martin Luther King, Jr.

For people around the world, today marks the moment where the faith is renewed. It’s the day we celebrate Christ, risen from the dead, and the most important time of our faith. While Christmas (kinda) gives us hope of the unknown, Easter gives us faith that Christ kept his word and didn’t leave behind his followers.

Or, it’s a day for us to decorate eggs, buy our children pet bunnies they will grow tired of quickly (not you, Chloe Bunny, other rabbits) and a moment to bring together family we may not see all year, except for those rare times we’re sitting around a table eating ham and duck and fish and, and, and.

But Easter – what is it? For me, a non-committed Catholic, it’s a time to think about what it means to keep a faith with which I often disagree. It’s less about the words in the Bible and more about the intent of the religion that keeps me right at the edge of staying or going. We’re a persecuted people, so our religious leaders would have you believe. We also persecute, but you often hear less about that. We’re both mindful and thoughtless, truthful and glaringly dishonest. We love others, but not always and, often, we use the words of our faith to hide our worst intentions.

And yet, every Easter, I wake up knowing that I’m not alone in the confusion of being a sort-of Christian. I’m often reminding A that the things we love about faith should transcend everything else, then I listen to myself and realize that I’m closer and closer to starting a coven. And I’m okay with that.

Easter Sunday marks time. It marks the moment when Lent is over and, hopefully, we’re better people, or at least closer to better than we were forty days ago. It also marks a renewal of everything around us. How lucky am I that I remember more sunny Easter Sundays than rainy ones? I used to think that was God’s way of reminding us that no matter how bad the previous days were, Easter Sunday would bring sun and a new season of life. Okay, I’m often prone to thinking the best of any situation, so it’s very possible that what’s really happened is that I only remember the good Easters, not the bad ones.

I’ve had Easter years where I’ve been surrounded by family and friends, and other years when A has been away and I’ve ordered a pizza and read books. There are the Easters I miss most, all years when my mom was still alive. For some reason, she loved Easter more than other religious holidays, and she’d put out all of her best cooking, even if it was just two of us and not an apartment filled with people. She always felt different today. We’d get dressed and go to church at Christ the King in San Diego. I’d sit in the pew and wait for the music to start and then, for over an hour, we’d celebrate Easter the only way that seemed to make sense for a church with a black Jesus outside – we hugged, sang songs about change and line up after church to eat and catch-up with anyone we hadn’t seen over the past few days.

Coming to New York meant giving that up and starting new traditions. This year, A is 22 and works almost full-time while going to school full-time so she’ll be off at her job, making people smell better and a little happier about life. I’ll be on a river in Connecticut, looking for that elusive trout. But, like every day of my life, I’ll look for that one elusive thing (sometimes it doesn’t even have a name) and think to myself: Even if today isn’t the day, tomorrow might be.

For everyone who celebrates Easter, try to remember that the Christian faith that builds a better, more thoughtful person during Lent, should be on display all year. We may not all practice our faith the same, but we do all share the spirit of someone who taught those around him to love others, no matter the personal cost.

**Image: The Garden of Gethsemane. The most important moments in our history as Christians often take place in locations where our brothers and sisters of non-Christian faith live and work every day. Just a reminder that while our faith should always give us hope, our religion should never divide us against others.

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