It Could All Be So Simple
If we’re to believe the New York Times, falling in love is as simple as answering 37 questions and then making direct eye contact. I read an article stating such in bed early one Monday (after hitting snooze twice) and decided that I believed it.
While I may not have fallen in love per say, I have become infatuated with someone based on their ideas, the way that they speak, their Tumblr even, without knowing much else. It should be noted that years ago, before my boyfriend and I lived in the same state we would talk on the phone for hours asking each other questions not unlike the ones suggested by the New York Times (that hasn’t changed).
He on the other hand, is not a believer. “Interesting, but I don’t think it’s that simple. Questionnaire, staring at each other, it’s all interesting… But there’s a time factor that more often than not is necessary. Also, the experiment doesn’t account for the physical side of things,” he typed in iMessage when I asked him his thoughts.
I asked him what sort of time element he was looking for, he replied, “Time as in I don’t believe it can just happen. The makings of love can begin instantaneously… But in most cases it takes certainly more than one extended conversation.”
What say you? Shall we give it a go? Hallie at Corals and Cognacs had the brilliant idea to try the experiment with her readers. I loved the idea.
Are you game?
Would you like to be famous? In what way? I don’t need to be famous, but I would like to be recognized on some level for my work in the things I’m most passionate about—being a fashion writer, my blog, I wouldn’t hate it if I ended up on a ‘Most Fashionable New Yorker’ type list.
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? This depends on who is on the other end of the phone. Am I calling a place where I would like to be employed? Then absolutely I’m going to rehearse. If I have to have a difficult chat with someone, I may text myself a few notes to reference, but that’s only because I trust myself to convey what I actually mean with written words better than I can verbally. Checking up on my Seamless order? Not so much.
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? I sing to myself every.single.day. I sang the Three’s Company
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? The mind definitely, and if were specifically talking mine at 30, then I’ll need about 60 years to bring all of my ideas to life.
Name three things you and your readers appear to have in common. Our faith keeps us going, we dabble in the ratchet and love to be inspired.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful? My support system, especially now. I tend to internalize things that go wrong. From the outside, it can look like I’m shutting people out but I just prefer to wrap my head around things first. I really appreciate the people who have come to know that I won’t say anything’s wrong but are willing to pull me out of my hole, anyway. So appreciative.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? The ability to stop waiting. Wait until my blog looks like this to do this, wait until it get’s bigger to do that, wait until I have seat cushions (for the chairs at my glass table, I want round gray ones, long story) to have people over… basically, just live.
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? Hm. I think I like not knowing what’s next. Though, I wouldn’t mind knowing when/if I’ll go back to work full-time. I wouldn’t mind knowing if I get the urge to procreate, either.
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Not sure. But I think, without being mushy, my blog. I remember talking to my ex once, the one whose break up birthed my site kind of, and I was stressed about something—I don’t remember what exactly, it seems so minute now, but he said something along the order of, “you’ll be fine. You turned your blog into a job and an apartment in the city. It may have taken you a couple years but you did it.” This is blog is a testament that dreams do come true.
What do you value most in friendship? Being able to venture off to find myself and come back to open arms without judgement.
What is your most treasured memory? How could I ever choose? My first year in New York was full of amazing experiences that I will treasure always.
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living? Why? This is something that I’ve been working on, but I’m trying to a better job about letting people know how I feel about them. Now, when I think of someone, instead of putting it off, I’ll send a card/write a text.
What roles do love and affection play in your life? I’m really blessed in that love and affection are all around me. My friends and I are pretty much family at this point. We love each other fiercely and the men in our lives know it. Romantically, my boyfriend is very loving and affectionate, which has been an adjustment. I’m not at all touchy-feely and I don’t like PDA. But in learning to care for him, I want to do a good job at making him feel loved, so I’m compromising. As it relates to the blog, he is a really big champion of Channing in the City, he shares posts, reminds me to Instagram and I think he’s more excited about taking photos than I am (he even scouts locations).
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner readers. Share a total of five items. Let me think…
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? My mother is my favorite person in the whole world. I admire her strength, her dedication to her children/marriage and her ability to reinvent herself independently of her family. Plus, she’s really fun. I love her, obviously, but I like her as a person. And Lord knows her prayers keep me out of some mess…
Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …” (Again, we’ll go with ‘readers’ here.) Hm.
Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” This thing of birthday cake Oreos. I’ll eat them all by myself, otherwise.
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner readers, please share what would be important for him or her to know. I’m completely comfortable with sitting in silence. I’m not being weird, I just think it’s nice not to have to talk all the time. I attribute this to not having a TV in my room growing up. I was forced to be with my thoughts and/or imagination.
Tell your partner readers what you like about them; be very honest, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met. I appreciate that of the girls I’ve come to know and interact with, I think we would be friends IRL. I admire how driven you all are in your careers, how your faith keeps you grounded and you all seem like you know how to have fun.
Share with your partner readers an embarrassing moment in your life. I’ve thrown up in public places more than I should admit.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? Hm. I cried two Fridays ago. It wasn’t a big dramatic deal. I didn’t get a job I would have loved. A few tears came out and my boyfriend saw them. I cried alone on Thanksgiving after a fight with my brother. I sound like a real winner right about now, eh?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? Gosh, guys. I should be nicer to my father.
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why? Because I don’t have any pets or loved ones living with me, I’m going to take three things: my external hard drive, my laptop and Cici. I know I have renter’s insurance and these things can be replaced—well, not the hard drive—but I want these particular items as they are.
Wearing: ASOS Cape// J.Crew Factory Denim Shirt// J.Crew Sweater// Trouvè Leggings via Nordstrom// Enzo Angiolini Boots// Clare V. Clutch// J.Crew Necklace// Kat Von D Lipstick in Homegirl// nOir & Tiffany & Co rings
What do you think?? Are we in love yet? Do you think there is any validity to this?
Or it is like ______ said, who coincidently is in love with this pant/cape combo, “it’s just not that simple?”
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