Preschool

I woke her up yesterday morning and got her dressed for her first day of Preschool. I had an adorable chambray tunic with neon stitching (an Aztec pattern — so on trend) pulled over her head, when she looked down and burst into tears.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t WIKE IT!!”

I briefly considered trying to talk her into it, then quickly changed my mind. I remember wearing clothes I didn’t like as a child, and how it felt. How helpless it feels to be unhappy with your appearance. How badly I want my kids to feel confident and comfortable with the self that they present to the world.

“Darling, what would YOU like to wear?” Without hesitation she shouted, “A DRESS!!”

Sighing, I went to her closet. I am behind on laundry and knew that the options would be slim. I noticed Lucy’s Minnie Mouse dress that I special ordered from Etsy to wear on her 2nd birthday. I don’t think she’s worn it in at least 6 months. I pulled it off the hanger and showed it to Lucy. She grinned from ear to ear.

I helped her put it on, remembering the barrette and necklace I had bought to go with. This was even better — my girl loves nothing more than a great accessory. We got her ready, ate a quick breakfast, and strapped on her Frozen backpack.

On the way to school, I reminded Lucy that we’d be taking her into class and then daddy and I would leave. “But I’ll be back later,” I reminded her. “And what will I say when I see you?” “HI LUCY!! I MISSED YOU!!” Lucy shouted. “Lucy, there might be friends in your class who are crying. Be brave and don’t cry. Nicely ask them to go play.” “YES!” Lucy said, excited. “PLAY TOYS!!!”

On the way to school, Lucy noticed that her nail polish had chipped off her nails. “Mommy, Lucy needs red nails again.” “Okay baby,” I replied. “Mommy will paint them this afternoon.”

“NO!! Lynne can try!!” Lucy was adamant about this. I started thinking about Lynne, the woman who has done my manicures every other week for 5 years. I made my first appointment with her when Jon David started Kindergarten. I was sad and decided to do something for myself that I hadn’t been able to do with a kid at home. This was when I was certain that I DID NOT want more kids. And now here I am, taking my baby girl to preschool and she’s asking for the very same Lynne to do HER nails. Life is just so funny.

We walked Lucy in. She begged me to carry her to class, wiggling out of my arms as soon as we stepped in the doorway to her classroom. I showed her her cubby, where we stored her blanket, backpack, and lunch box. I asked for a kiss and she planted a big one on my lips. I said, “remember, I’m leaving now?” “Okay! Bye! Yuv you!!” She smiled all the way up to her eyeballs as Miss Cherry placed a name tag on her dress. Her teacher is gentle and loving and Lucy already adores her. It’s so reassuring. My husband and I leave her standing in the middle of class, smiling and trying to decide what to play with first.

I’m definitely not crying.

My eyeballs are just sweating a little.

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