DO YOU MAKE MORE MONEY?

i loved reading through all of your comments on the “are you friends with your ex?” post. so many different interesting stories and outlooks. just fascinating to me. today we are going to be discussing a slightly uncomfortable topic. money. in relationships. who makes more of it and how do you deal with it? i’ve come across quite a few women recently who have been talking about this topic, so i think we should discuss…

i’m a little strange about money myself, to be honest. i’m a big time saver, and not because i’m sooo responsible. but mostly because i’m afraid that one day it will all be gone. but i’m a weirdo. so although i actually have made more income than my previous partners, i still have a bit of a strange outlook on it. i’m not sure exactly WHAT my thoughts are on the topic, actually. here are a few stories i’ve been hearing lately from friends…

1. “who cares about money, it comes and goes, sometimes i pay more, sometimes he pays more. it all evens out at different points of our lives.” … (to me, that sounds nice. to not put so much weight on money in a relationship. to just take care of each other and trust it will all work out. pretty cool.)

and then there’s the total opposite. the girl who makes more than her dude. doesn’t feel taken care of. resents him. wants the relationship to feel more “traditional.” wants to be spoiled… (now, i can understand portions of this as well. but i do think there are ways around it. i think a guy can make up for lacking funds in romantic ways to make his lady feel taken care of and loved. and i also understand that to a man, making less money can be emasculating. but i don’t think it has to be. times are different now. to me, it’s just important that roles don’t get completely reversed. just because i might make more at this point, that doesn’t mean i take on a more masculine role in the relationship. if that makes any sense.)

i’ve ALSO heard the stories of the girl that pay for almost everything in the relationship. they buy all the dinners, plane tickets, activities for them to do together… (some women are totally fine with it. they love their man and don’t care if they have to pay up. for me, i’m a little bit more on the fairness and equality side and don’t see myself feeling comfortable with this. and i wouldn’t feel comfortable if a guy was paying absolutely everything for me.)

what do you feel about the topic? what works for you in your relationship? we are all at different points in our lives. married. dating. stay at home moms. in between jobs and figuring it out. workaholic girls in their 20′s…so i’m sure there are LOTS of different views on it!

and just a note because i might be doing more of these relationship posts, i hope you know that i am very open minded to all kinds of views. i’m not here to judge anyone on their situation. so hopefully it never feels that way. happy friday, folks. -bri

(photo: James Garner and Audrey Hepburn on the set of The Children’s Hour, 1961)