Rumblings – Chapter Fifty

I have never lost someone I loved. My sister yes had lost her dad but she too I doubt had lost someone close when she was of a conscious age. Losing my mom would really be the end of the world. Yes I had my differences with my mother on her favoritism but I still loved her to death just as much as she loved me. I actually tried to think of the last thing I had said to her and her to me at this moment and I could not remember. I should never have gone to this party and instead should have stayed home. I would have been with her. Death reminds us of what’s important and no matter how angry we are, nothing can ever beat family. My heart was beating fast and am certain I was heading to having a panic attack. This can’t be happening. Everything in my life really seemed to be falling apart. If I didn’t know better I would swear I was bewitched somehow. I don’t believe in such things but every now and again I sit and ask myself what if this were true. It’s funny how these things come to you but have you ever noticed how most new Born Agains are single mothers. I was fast joining that club because I just felt that my bad luck had to be coming from somewhere. I looked at Mudenda and I, Amo and myself and could not help wonder what would happen to my baby if my mother died or if I died. I had nothing to give her and could never trust my sister with such long term responsibility. She was a good baby sitter yes but I could not see her as a mother. Being a single mother means you have to take double care of yourself because so much depends on you.

In the car Aurelia asked me what was wrong and I told her everything that my sister had said. She started telling me about her aunt who had had a stroke but she had survived it. I think it was supposed to be comforting. Fuck loadshedding. The traffic was hectic. When is the government going to do something about this! When you have an emergency the last thing you want is to be stuck in so much traffic. Aurelia could see I was getting even more nervous and she kept on trying to talk me down because my mind by now had lost it. My mother. She was the only person in our lives that made sense and raised us to be who we were. I asked Aurelia about strokes and she called it a lifestyle disease. Was she saying my mother did not live a healthy life? Ok fine it’s true she doesn’t, don’t even think. My mother knows what Virgin Active is to be honest but now was not the time. She said many people survive it so it’s not the end of the world it just depends on how severe it is. I called my sister and she did not pick up but send me a message that I must start with home first because that’s where she was. Why wasn’t she with mom? See what I say when I say she is so irresponsible and selfish! She was supposed to be by her bedside but I also figured maybe it was because she could not take Amo to the hospital. Crap! That means one of use would have to stay with the baby then. It made sense I ask Aurelia so that we could both go, my sister and I. She agreed and said she did not mind watching Amo for us as this was important. I can’t believe just yesterday this girl and I were fighting. She really was the most loving person I knew and she deserved the best.

As if he could sense that something was wrong I got a call from Tidimalo. I didn’t want to pick up but the phone was in the middle and when it rang Aurelia saw it was him. I picked up and immediately he asked me what was wrong. What was so weird about this was the fact that he said before I even said ‘hello’. It’s like he could sense it. There are people in life who just get you. I don’t believe in this concept of “the one” because when I was with Mudenda didn’t I also think he was the one? Tidimalo, the new one at least because as my ex he was doosh, seemed to get me so well and di not even bother hiding the fact that he did. Most girls say we will never go back to an ex yet if we go to a party where an ex chances of fucking him again there and then are higher than not. I responded,

“My mom has just had a stroke. I am driving with Aurelia to her now and I am so scared!”

This time I broke down. I started crying. He told me that he was coming to my place later so that we could talk in person as over the phone it was not easy. He told me to be strong. When he hung up I felt a bit better. Was I falling in love with him? He seemed to get me! Aurelia was looking at me weird but she did not say anything. I must say that was the longest drive ever. It felt as though it was hours and eventually I pulled into my driveway. My sister had not called again which was a good thing as it meant nothing bad had happened further!

I braced myself as I got into the car with tears rolling down my cheeks. I was so scared of what I will find. I walked into the house and got the shock of my life!

There was my mother sitting there with Amo in her arms. I did not understand! I really did not. My sister was right next to her.

“You actually came! I should take up drama!”

She said laughing!

“I don’t understand”

I stuttered as I was so confused, even Aurelia just stared!

“I was just joking. Wanted you to come fast because I have to leave!”

She was so nonchalant as though she could not see what was wrong with what she had said. I was livid. I flew across the room in an instant and I was on her. My mother jumped up to stop us because she was not sure what was happening and through my anger and punches I told her what had had happened and what my sister had said. She stood back and and didn’t stop me! She was shocked! My sister was screaming,

“I was only joking chill!”

But the joke was on her! How dare she do that? Some jokes are not funny at all! She had crossed a line!

“Next week you starting work, I want to see who will take care of your bastard!”

She said angrily as she walked away!

She had called my child a bastard and that pierced right through me and it hurt!

*****The End*****

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
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Hi Mike

I am a 19 year old girl, I HV a prob….the thing is I hooked up with my ex last week it was that relationship that never ended BT due to distance it just stopped. Anyway we were chilling and catching up then out of nowhere we had sex. By out of nowhere I mean just boom it happened no flirting nor sexual signs…thing is I realized half way through the sex that we didn’t use the condom and when I pulled away it was already too late as he came inside me, now we couldn’t find the morning after pill and all that shit so my problem is this guy like his confusing me one minute he tells me that he will take care of the baby if it happens that am pregnant the next he tells me that we must have faith and pray that am not pregnant. He specifically told me that abortion is a no go area and I agree because I don’t believe in it so I need help because I don’t know what’s up with his mixed emotions wateva shit and his bipolar tendencies are driving me crazy.. NB: I need advice not judgments of how stupid and irresponsible I was because I already know that so if you are going to insult me rather keep it to yourself!!!

CONFUSED GIRL