Rumblings – Fifty Three

Many girls know this, when you like a guy and he puts in an effort but you play hard to get just to make sure that his intentions are pure then suddenly he stops giving you panic! Yes I was panicking! Your swallow your pride real fast because good men are few and far in between. All girls have been through this. We are told that playing hard to get makes you virtuous and a lady thus you must aspire to it. Girls who say yes to a guy after a day or two, even a week are considered loose and sluttish. As women we tell each other that he must work hard for it and even when he does we expect him to continue pursuing. Even when we don’t want him, it’s flattering to know a man wants you. The irony comes when he stops chasing, even if you didn’t want him it feels like you have lost something! Even if it’s an ugly guy, imagine such saying that he does find you attractive! Yho, my ego can’t handle. Tidimalo was neither ugly nor just another guy. I won’t lie, I am not sure if I wanted as my man or as a friend. There I said it. It was too soon and I had too much going on in my life right now. What did he mean by what he had just said Tidimalo had been with me through all this and now he too was leaving me! I tried to call him but he did not pick up! Wait, he left with Aurelia. I called her.

“Faith, everything still ok?”

She asked me as soon as she picked up. I could hear music in the background meaning she was at that braai.

“No! Tidimalo just said he won’t be talking to me anymore! What did I do wrong?”

I cried to her. She too sounded genuinely surprised but said she had no idea. She asked me if I had tried to call him of which I confirmed. She apologized and said I should be patient and wait for tomorrow before I call him again.

I went to bed with such a heavy heart. It was like there was a hole in it that no one could fill. I think I even had nightmares. Amo didn’t make things easier. He cried all night and I was awake half of it. Babies really know how to sense when something is wrong.

In the morning my mother was gone by the time I emerged from my room. I did not think she was working today so I am not sure where she had gone. I called Tidimalo once more but he did not answer. Oh well I was not going to beg for friendship. We single mothers don’t have that luxury of chasing after men as we have to focus on other things. Besides we know better than most the true character of a man. It was easier said than done though. Inside me I was having panic attacks as to how I can get him talking to me again. He had not said a word about wanting me back so what is it was he on about. I would understand if he had tried and failed but he had not. That is what turned that panic in confusion and confusion into anger.

When I was cleaning I got a call from a landline. It was Mudenda and guess what, he was fuming. Is the guy ever happy. He was the one who had called me yet he was the one angry. I should not have picked up!

“I knew that’s all you wanted, money!”

He said to me after I said ‘hello’. I asked him what he was talking about and he told me not to pretend as though I did not know about the Maintenence Court. I told him I knew obviously but they had not gotten back to me yet. He started shouting at me but from what I gathered they had given, him, us a date. He asked me how I can humiliate him like this and take him to Maintenence Court like he was common criminal. I actually laughed at his tantrum. Why was he so mad? Last I remember is that when we were making the baby he was the man in bed, huffing and puffing with his peepee inside me! He had clearly forgotten that part. Men actually find it embarrassing to be paying maintenance because it reminds them of the failures they are. Whether they like it or not, hate you or not they are forced to stay in the babies life!

“Mudenda, it’s done, get over it”

I told him after I stopped laughing. Yes I know it bad but I had to laugh at this guy. Whom did he think he was? I was not begging him for money, I was making him do the right thing and the right thing was take care of his child. Hellen Zille was right when she said men who do not pay maintenance should be blacklisted. They act all rich and mighty to other women, buying them gifts, taking them on holidays, driving fancy cars but the moment the word Maintenance comes up they have no money. That is the most frustrating thing about these dogs!

“See you in court Mudenda!”

I said as I hung up. I did not have time for childish behavior!

I resumed my cleaning and an hour or two later my mother walked in.She was holding forms which in bold were written Thuto Bophelo Nursing Academy. This woman was not kidding. She went straight for my sister’s room and I had her bang loudly and shout that she must come to the sitting room!

It was after eleven and she was still groggy showing she had just woken up! I am sorry for me only a lazy person can sleep in this late! How do you even do it? You can’t hear the cars outside? I cannot! When she saw what my mother was holding She looked at me defeated but my mother was not letting her off the hook!

“I want you to fill them in right away because I want to take them back.”

My sister wanted to take them to her room but my mother insisted she do it right there in front of her. That was so not necessary but she was a woman on a mission!

She started telling me what a good college it was and that it was in Pretoria far away from her friends. She will not get up to bad behavior. I don’t know why people in Jhb believe that Pretoria is far because it really is not! They also look at Pretoria as though it has this kind of innocence but because I stayed there I know it has just as much crime as Johannesburg, drugs and worse, prostitutes! Have you ever driven down Schoeman towards Hatfield? That’s any eye opener! It’s like open season and the police just drive past! In my first year one of my friends stayed at The Fields, a student building across campus! I have heard of Milpark and Laborie Village in Auckland Park but I will put money on it when I say the girls there are amateurs when it comes to that apartment block! Why then does it have this innocence? This was a bad idea but how do I bring it up? My sister was on drugs before and I don’t care where you are in Gauteng, everyone knows Sunnyside is the hub, the supply point. Bad idea.

“Mom are there no colleges you can put her that are not in Pretoria because it’s more dangerous there than here?”

I asked. My sister I think thought I meant in Johannesburg and she smiled weakly at me.

“Imagine if she can stay at home and attend, it’s cheaper as you won’t have to pay rent and you monitor her work personally!”

I asked her. It was a good argumeny I think. My mom stood up and said coldly,

“It’s either that one or one in Limpopo! I want this evil child out of my house!”

She walked away. My phone rang… It was Meladi!

“I didn’t ask for your help!”

My sister hissed at me!

*****The End******

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
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Thanks for the wonderful books Mike!! #blacksdoread
Morning fellow readers forgive me for this essay.
I have been in a relationship for 2years and we work together but in separate departments though. We are both childless and not living together. I recently had an operation he only came to fetch me from the hospital and that was it, no calls to find out how I’m doing nor check in to see if my recovery is going well (and this is a steady relationship). Instead he can ask me to come sleep over and when I question him he tells me he doesn’t have petrol money to come see me yet this guy lives 35min away from me. If there is a funeral at his house I take leave and I’m there from Thursday until Sunday helping out without him having to ask. I get paid 2-5 days before him every month I give him like R1500 to cover him till payday cause I know he is broke around that time. If a man cannot make a plan to get atleast R100 petrol to come see me “he’s better half” “he’s soulmate” what kind of man is he going to be in future? Am I wrong to feel this way? If I am right what do I do?

Shocked partner