Ashley

Life Lessons Learned by 30: Part 3

It seemed only fitting to end my “Life Lessons” with a post about fashion & beauty. While I’ve covered aspects of health, mental wellness and overall well-being in the previous posts, it seemed like a great time to reflect on the lessons that relate more specifically to my love of personal style.


A wardrobe that is only functional is emotionally unrewarding.

When I started this blog, I was on my way to $15,000 in debt. Over the last 7 years, I’ve struggled to find balance in my life: between buying things because I love them (and often couldn’t afford them) and buying them because they were practical and necessary. In the past few years, I’ve found that neither extreme makes me happy – one leaves me in debt, and one leaves me feeling uninspired.

Somewhere between the two is a place of owning what I love, what I need, and what I can afford. This past year I’ve started finding my way into that middle ground, and I’m so happy with my wardrobe.

Even if something is “special,” it should be worn, used, and enjoyed.

Sitting in my closet are about a half dozen silk Trashy Diva dresses. They’re all a size 14, and were purchased in the years following Hurricane Katrina. Almost all of them sit, unworn. During grad school, I thought they were too special to wear. Then I gained weight. Now I have these beautiful dresses that I can’t physically fit into, that sit, unworn.

While I hope to one day to get back to my target weight, they’re a reminder that when I buy beautiful pieces now? I should wear them. There’s no greater fashion regret than buying a piece and never wearing it.

A high price tag doesn’t always equal quality.

I’ve purchased faux leather shoes at Target that have lasted me years. I’ve purchased leather, name-brand flats that have fallen apart at 6 months. Then there are the horror stories of women who have purchased Dolce & Gabanna, Christian Louboutin, or other spectacular brands…. only for the shoe to fall apart after walking 6 blocks in the city.

Somewhere, in building my best wardrobe, I’ve found brands that I’m loyal to because I don’t have to sacrifice cost or quality to receive the other. And in any purchase, I try to avoid flimsy fast fashion that will never, ever be worth my money.

Dress for the body you have now, not the body you may have.

Because you may never, ever have that body. I could build a closet of “reach” clothes: the pieces I’ll fit into when I hit that weight loss goal. Or I can build a closet of pieces designed to “work” with my body flaws.

Or I can find pleasure in dressing in the clothes that make me happy NOW, for the body that I have NOW. This may involve a certain degree of courage, confidence, and at times- turning the other cheek. But if I get satisfaction each time I look into a mirror – that seems worth it.


Any major style points I’ve missed? What are the most important style lessons you’ve learned in life?

If you missed parts 1 and 2 of Life Lessons Learned by 30, you can check them out here and here!

© Dramatis Personae. If you enjoyed Life Lessons Learned by 30: Part 3, please subscribe at dramatis personae. Company links may be affiliate links; see a full list of affiliates here. Be assured that all products have received that Ashe seal of love, lust, & approval.


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