TFC: The Pros & Cons of Marrying a Foreigner
When I left Sydney, Australia at age 19 to travel all the way to the other side of the world, I had no idea what was ahead of me. I had never lived out of home before, had never been away from Sydney for much longer than a few weeks, and here I was moving to New York to attend college in a country I had never even visited.
Since then my life has surprised me, and evolved into something I could have never imagined. I never thought I would meet so many incredible people, and not just only Americans. My cross country team in college was primarily foreign. Like me, these other runners had been recruited from all over the world. Some of my best friends are English, Irish, American, French and German. Having this eclectic mix of friends, all with different cultures and personalities, has made me a better person today.
During this wonderful experience of meeting new people, I happened to meet my most favorite American who has now become my husband. If you would have asked me six years ago before I stated down this new path in my life, I would have never said that I would be married at barely 25 and still living over here in the US. Getting married is a big deal in itself, marry a foreigner and you’ve thrown a whole other level of seriousness into the mix.
I remember my mum feeling a little caught off guard when I told her I first had an American boyfriend. I guess it never really entered her mind that I may fall in love with someone who lived on the other side of the world. She was of course reassured that it was a good decision after first meeting Jeff because of how good he was for me, but as I start to think of my life in the future, I realize the reasons behind her being a little stressed out about the whole thing.
The pros of marrying Jeff as an individual are endless, but the cons of marrying a foreigner in a general sense, are evident. There are three main areas where I see us facing challenges in our future, but I know as long as we have each other, we will be able to see the good in everything.
1. FAMILY
CON: Jeff and I are fortunate enough to both be very close with our families and have a huge support system on both ends. With this though, comes the sadness of knowing that at some point in our lives, we are always going to be very far away from one of them. Right now with us living in the states, it is my family. And it is a constant struggle having been apart from then for so long.
PRO: Despite our families living on the opposite sides of the world, I feel so lucky that our kids one day have the opportunity of choosing where they want to live. Since leaving home, I realized how important it is to be exposed to so many different types of people, so I plan on encouraging my children to do the same. Knowing that they will have a solid family base in either country is quite unique and fortunate.
2. TRAVEL
CON: I am not the greatest traveller. After every trip from Australia to the US or vise versa I end up sick and unable to adjust for days. Knowing that I am going to have to spend my entire life travelling back and forth across the world seems exhausting. Knowing that I am going to have to do it with 2-3 screaming kids at some point seems impossible.
PRO: Despite not being the greatest traveller, I absolutely love the idea of constantly moving around. Moving to the states 6 years was a huge turning point for me. If I didn’t make the move back then, I would have probably never left Sydney. It is one of the most beautiful cities in the world and has everything I could possibly want a home to offer, there would realty be no reason to leave. But now the idea of moving to some place new excites me – by marrying a foreigner I have realized the beauty of knowing our home becomes wherever we want it to be, as long as we are together.
3. HOLIDAYS
CON: This has become a huge one for me. The last time I spent a holiday at home was is in 2011, and over the recent years I have felt the weight of missing this. Holidays are what helps you connect with your past and memories, and makes you feel part of a culture. Christmas is the big one, and for me means warm weather, seafood BBQs, getting dressed up, having summer cocktails, outdoor bars on the beach and swimming in the pool. If you are from Ohio though, this is not Christmas at all. Knowing that we can’t be two places at once is hard, and at some point at least one of us is going to be missing home.
PRO: The pro in this comes when I think of my future children. Our lucky are they that they will be able to experience and grow up with two different types of Christmas’, two different perceptions of what the holiday season means. Being exposed to different cultures is a blessing and only makes a person more open minded and aware. This idea excites me, and I know that the new memories I create with my husband will be a perfect blend on snow and sun.
And if all else fails, I plan on forcing everyone to move to Hawaii.
Until next time,
-Heidi / @heidi_see28 @boho_kitty
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