Harper lately.

So the name of this blog is Harper’s Happenings (thank you for the update, Captain Obvious). Over the years it has become more than that, which I love. Soon it will be about even more, which I really love. But as she gets older I keep a lot more of her happenings to myself. Because I can’t figure out where that line is, no matter how hard I try to figure it out. I love sharing her stories, because she is an amazing person who I feel the world should know. But she’s four and half, and a real person, and so I sometimes wonder about how future Harper will feel. So I keep the really funny stuff, and private moments, and anything that might remotely annoy her for just us.

Harper is in full on summer/baby brother preparation mode these days. It’s the last week of school right now, so all we talk about is our plans for summer (swim lessons, the park, BABY BROTHER). It’s insane to me that another whole school year has passed and on Thursday night she’ll “graduate” to Pre-K. She is so smart. Her memory (very selective I must add) astounds me, her love of drawing and coloring is inspiring, and I could only hope to be as carefree and accepting of everyone as she is. Four has been hard. Really hard. I thought three was hard (and I was right) but four is just a different kind of hard. But 7 months in, we are getting better at it, all of us. What once felt like collectively banging our three heads against a wall every day now feels just a normal amount of “hard”. Things are good with the usual side of kid craziness. Just in time to add a baby to the mix!

Latest obsessions include The Magic School Bus, Littlest Petshop and Phineas and Ferb. In fact, Phineas and Ferb are her “invisible little brothers” and she is just like Candice. Many a activity has been held up because P & F are still sleeping, or have been left on the porch and we need to open the door to let them in. When we are in a hurry I tend to get annoyed, but stop to remind myself how FLIPPIN’ ADORABLE that really is and that it only takes 4 seconds to let these imaginary cartoon characters in. Is it also annoying to endure a tantrum because no skirts are clean and she has to wear a skirt just like Candice? Yes. But someday she’ll hate me, so let’s enjoy this while we can.

Then there is Bunny. We don’t call her Boobies anymore (sniff) and she is the ONLY thing on this planet that Harper cares about. I mean, she loves her people, and her dog and all that. But Bunny. Well Bunny is the end all, be all of life. She goes everywhere. She is always with her. I still can’t believe how she has clung to this random giant headed bunny (who is really a puppy but she will NEVER know that). I love that years from now, and forever, we will have all of these pictures and memories of this Bunny. No matter when she decides to stop loving Bunny, we will always have the Bunny Years, and I will have something to cry into later in life when she leaves me for things like college or marriage or another country. Bunny will become my comfort item, I’m willing to bet.

Clothes. Clothes are a very big deal around here. She is super picky, likes to dress herself and pretty much hates any suggestions from me. All of that is fine and dandy but it’s the clothes EVERYWHERE that gives me a bit of an aneurism. I will walk in after nap time (which let’s be honest isn’t napping at all but hey she’s in her room being fairly quiet for a small amount of time each day, so) to a tornado of hangers and clothes and she is in a completely different outfit than I left her in. I have decided to wave my white flag on this because for a few weeks there I was literally beside myself and nothing was working. I was about to put all her clothes in another room OR get rid of them all and make her wear the same dress for the rest of eternity so there would be no choices. Then I realized a) my blood pressure didn’t need this nonsense and 2) I don’t want to be the person stifling the next Gwen Stefani or something. Carry on lady. I’ll just stock up on the wine for when I can drink it again so I’m calm while I fold laundry that was probably not even dirty. Again.

I could write a whole post about how I feel about her brother coming along. So I will, and save it for another day. I’m not sure I have the words yet. All I know right now is that it’s an exciting time for us and that I’m cherishing moments I normally wouldn’t because I know life is changing soon and will never be the same. It will be awesome, but never the same. I’m letting things go and giving her my all no matter what because soon it won’t just be us. And I’ll stop there so I don’t cry or take this off the rails. Another day.

Harper is a gem. She’s just a crazy little perfectly nutty gem, who makes my world go around. Thanks for letting me share her with you.

(her dress is from Cauliflower Kids. It’s probably the one I would have chosen to be the only dress she ever wears because, look at it).