The Best Blogging Tips... EVER

The thing about blogging tips, it seems, is that everyone has some. Whether you've blogged for 5 years or 5 minutes. We all gain knowledge from putting our hearts and souls and clothes out on the internet. So Caroline (one of my favorite bloggers of Perpetually Caroline) and I have decided to put our heads together and give you our sound advice. Take it VERY seriously.

Photos.

Here's a really goo example of how to take a quality pic.
Caroline: DON'T YOU DARE eat without getting a picture from every angle first. Don't forget to stand on the table for that aerial money shot.

Helene: Always be ready to take a photo. You never know when a good blogging opportunity will come about. So, to stay ready, have your phone in your hand with it set in camera mode at all times. Afterall, the best way to enjoy life's moments is to show them off to everyone, you know, in a grainy iPhone image.
Take every picture looking away from the camera. Looking into the camera will show your sole and then everyone will see the real you. Can't have that!

Writing:

C: Drop these words: Netflix. Starbucks. The Bachelor. Wine. Target. Mason jars. Pinterest. Not Sponsored.
Write tipsy, edit wasted.
Call your readers your "fans." Tell people you're responding to fan mail when you're replying to e-mails.

H: Make sure to tell everyone how #blessed you are. Making everyone feel jealous and isolated from you is a top priority.
Call your husband "hubs" or "Hubby" and refer to a boyfriend with a cute nickname, something like "sugar pie" will work. Never refer to their real name. Calling them "Michael" is just too obvious.

Social Media.
H: Email everyone you know and let them know you have a new post. They don't respond? Email them again.

Blog Post topics.

C: Have a baby. Once the child approaches toddlerhood, have another. And then another. And then another. Infants get the most likes on Instagram, c'mon we all know that. Bonus points if you adopt a puppy at the same time.
H: Steal post ideas from others without giving them credit. You don't want to help other bloggers out now do you? Plagiarism is fun!

Sponsoring and Money.
C: Blow your life savings (or, if necessary, your child's college fund) on the latest and greatest DSLR camera.
Quit your day job. Just blog.

H: Start sponsorship prices in the $100s. Show your worth.

Other must knows.

C: Have at least one giveaway every day. Don't have anything to give? Give your soul. (Or $25 to Target.)
Post only on the weekends. Have Google Analytics open at all times and sit there with tears in your eyes. Dramatically, reach for a bottle of wine. Start chugging.

H: If you didn't blog about it then it didn't happen.
Don't worry about learning HTML tricks, who has time for that anyway? Your blog may look funny, just roll with it. And make sure to make your images as small as possible, don't want to overwhelm people!
Never respond to comments.

Now that you now know all there is about blogging, how about a gift card from Caroline? But don't worry, she's not giving away her soul just yet. But here's $25 to Target.

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