And here i am…

I can’t believe it’s been 2.5 months since i’ve posted. Life happened. Changes happened. Changes are still happening. Isn’t life always changing, even if you think it isn’t? I’ve moved. Just in town but still. I’ve been through a breakup. I’ve been through a heartbreak, at least that’s how it feels. I’ve been working a lot. I’ve been emotional. My body is changing. My mind is changing. The seasons are changing. Everything in my life – i feel like it’s changing. Some days, i don’t know how to deal with it. Others i’m smiling. I’m learning to live alone again. I haven’t done much of that in the last few years. I’m learning it’s okay to be alone. I would lie to you if i said it wasn’t hard. I am as independent as they come yet i have issues with being alone. Explain that to me. I ponder a lot. I worry a lot. I think a lot. And shouldn’t. As it just makes it worst most times. Sometimes i feel like i’m yelling and no one hears me. Other times i want to yell at someone just to have my voice heard. I wish life didn’t have these ups and downs but we all know life isn’t rainbows and butterflies. There are ups. There are downs. I know i’ll be okay in the long run but lately it just feels like time is standing still. Either that or it’s running away from me as fast as possible.