Do these kids look scary to you?
Yeah … ok … a little.
I became a parent in my thirties. That had given me a long time to
not have children. I worried about the addition of new people into my life and marriage — would we get along? Would they have personalities and tastes compatible with mine? Would I
like them?
Here are some of my top fears and how they've come true:
I worried about parenting a boy.
And so, naturally, I had two. We actually tried, through dubious and unproven (and apparently not very effective) techniques, to sway our odds toward having a girl the first time around.
When Mikko was born and it turned out he had boy parts, it felt inevitable. Well,
of course, you're a boy.
Of course, I have to face this fear, now, here, first thing.
And it took…about two seconds to shoot down. This was not "a boy." This was Mikko. My son! My child. I had no idea if he'd grow up macho and arrogant, outdoorsy and athletic (à la our older brothers, and what set our fears into motion), or whether he'd be more … in the middle, gender-wise, the way Sam and I are, but I knew I'd love him, regardless. He just … was. He was himself.
So when the second boy came, well … of course! Again! No sweat.
I'd never pictured myself surrounded by Legos and Transformers and
Switch-n-Go Dinos, but you know, my boys are really cool kids, and I'm happy for who they are and whoever they turn out to be.
I worried about parenting a chatterbox.
I remember, in my twenties, visiting a friend with a teenage daughter who talked. And talked. And talked.
I found it overwhelming and kept looking to my friend for her reaction, which was always a serene smile as she listened, sometimes responded, and continued on with her day.
I thought to myself, "Doesn't she
realize her kid is a Chatty Cathy? Doesn't it
bother her?" I could never stand that, I thought. I told myself, even then, I guess maybe it's different if it's your own kid? But it can't be
that different. Presumably my friend just enjoyed a higher level of noise than I did, and as a peace-craving introvert, I'd better hope I scored quiet children.
Visit
Code Name: Mama and
Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- When Parents' Fears Escalate — If we didn't self-doubt, we probably wouldn't care enough about our children to struggle with understanding them. But how do we overcome self-doubt? Read advice from Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., guest posting today at Natural Parents Network.
- What ifs of addiction — After seeing how addictions of adult children is badly hurting a family close to her heart, Hannah at HannahandHorn shares her fears for her own child.
- Sharing My Joy — Kellie at Our Mindful Life shares her fear that others think she is judgmental because she makes alternative choices for her own family.
- Building My Tribe Fearlessly — A meteorite hit Jaye Anne at Tribal Mama's family when she was seven years old. Read the story, how she feels about that now, and how she is building her tribe fearlessly.
- Fear: Realized — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen shares how her fear of car accidents was realized and how she hopes to be able to use her efforts to overcome the remaining fears to help her children overcome their own.
- I'm a Negligent Helicopter Parent — For Issa Waters at LoveLiveGrow, the line between helicopter parenting and negligent parenting is not so cut and dried.
- My Greatest Fear For My Child — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama admits that she has struggled with not allowing her fears to control her and how the reality of this was blown wide open when she became a mother.
- Proactive Steps to Calm Parenting Fears — Every parent has certain fears related to dangerous situations, That Mama Gretchen shares ways she is preparing herself and her children for emergencies.
- Homeschooling Fears – Will My Children Regret Being Homeschooled? — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares an interview with her now-adult children that answers a question she had throughout their homeschooling.
- An Uneasy Truce — Homeschooler and recent convert to unschooling, Tam at tinsenpup shares just a few of the things she tries to keep in mind when fear and insecurity begin to take hold.
- Fearing the worst, expecting the best — Tarana at Sand In My Toes writes about fears that come with parenting, and why we must overcome them.
- Can I be the parent I want to be? — Amanda at Postilius confronts her struggle to peacefully parent a preschooler
- Out of Mind, Out of Fear — How does Jorje of Momma Jorje deal with her pretty steep, long-term fears regarding her son's future?
- I Don't Homeschool to Manage My Kids' Transcripts — One of Dionna at Code Name: Mama's fears of parenting is that she will get so caught up in the monotony, the details of homeschooling, the minutiae of everyday life, the routine of taking care of a household - that she will forget to actually be present in the moment with her children.
- Beware! Single Mom Camping — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her first adventures as a single mom. She laughed, she cried, she faced her fears.
- Parenting Fears And Reality Checks — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares her three biggest fears as a parent - that most parents share - looks at the reality behind these fears, and offers a few suggestions for enjoying parenting.
- Parenting fear : to kill a pink rabbit... — Mother Goutte tells us the story of a pink rabbit that disappeared, came back, and became the symbol of her worst parenting fear...
- Roaming — sustainablemum considers whether allowing your children freedom to explore the world safely is harder now than in the past.
- Meeting my parenting fears head-on — Lauren at Hobo Mama had many fears before she became a parent. Learn how they all came true — and weren't anywhere near as scary as she'd thought.
- Don't fear the tears — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger worried that letting her children cry when going to sleep was tantamount to the dreaded parenting moniker, CIO. She discusses what actually happened after those teary nights, and how she hopes these lessons can carry forward to future parenting opportunities.
- Will I Still be a Good Mom? — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot worries about her mothering skills now that breastfeeding is no longer the top priority.
- Pregnancy Fears: It Happened to My Sisters, It Will Happen to Me... — Kristen at Country Fit Family discusses the difficulties with pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding that the women in her family have had and how she overcame them.
- Fears — Meegs at A New Day talks about how her fears before parenting led to a better understanding of herself and her desires for her daughter.
Thanks for subscribing to
Hobo Mama. Please feel free to comment on the post & share it with friends!