Are you stopping yourself from feeling fully alive?

I love my gratitude practice. It’s a barometer, which tells me if I’m out of balance and if I’m dwelling in the glass half empty camp.

I really believe in it and I know it works. My husband too, despite the fact he thought it was all a bit cheesy to begin with!

He has seen the evidence.
Things going well for us, people being extra helpful, money coming our way, an honest & connected relationship, great people helping us on our house renovation.

When I’m really feeling the gratitude, not just thinking it, there is an aliveness running throughout my veins.
It’s a natural endorphin!

And as it has often been said:

I have noticed a flatness, a lack of spirit, boredom even.
I am missing feeling truly, spine tingling, vein pulsing alive.

And yes I know that I maybe asking too much to feel this all of the time.

But, something is awry.

My business mentor coach (whom I fondly call Mrs Boss lady!), the fabulous Jac MacNeil, made an observation last week during one of our calls. She told me that it seemed like I had a pretty little box, all wrapped up with a bow, containing the emotions and feelings that feel safe to me.

Gratitude is one of them. It’s safe and it provides me with a default, somewhere to go to if things aren’t quite the way I would like them to be.
It allows me a “everything will be fine”, as long as I’m grateful.
I mean, come on, good things do come my way, the universe keeps showing me.

But what is the downside of this? Really there is a downside?

Yes, there is (for me anyway)!

My gratitude practice keeps me from feeling disappointed about certain things that I want to create in my life, but which seem a little more difficult to attain.

Surely this is a good thing?

Yes and no.

It safeguards me from too much disappointment, but in doing so it keeps me in a kind of no-mans land.
Most of all it stops me from giving myself permission to fully feel some of my true desires, especially those around success, business and money.

And if I don’t allow myself to feel these desires I stay playing it safe. Plodding along just nicely.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with plodding, if that’s what you want.
But if it’s at the expense of feeling alive and stimulated, I don’t want what plodding has to offer.

So what do I need to do in order to help myself fully feel alive?

1. I need to practice what I preach and imagine the feeling expanding throughout my body.
2. I need to find an affirmation that helps me connect strongly with the feelings e.g. “I deserve to be successful” or “I am alive” (this latter one really does it for me).
3. I need to keep practicing numbers one and two above as often as I can.
4. Do things that I know already make me feel alive e.g. playing games, being competitive, having my kind of fun!

Having fun is a big one here
We can’t just expect it to arrive on my doorstep. Sometimes we have to go out and invite it in.

So far this week, I have played table tennis with my husband on our dining room table, played Boggle (great word game) and swung on the swings in the kiddies playground (evidence below).
It’s going well so far, but I need to continue making it more of a priority.

Are you holding back from believing you can have the relationship you really want?

Have you given up even thinking about improved communication with your partner?

Or maybe it’s something else?

Whatever it is, ask yourself what’s your desire? What do you truly want to feel?

And your first step? Fake it, imagine it, breath the feelings into your body. If this makes you feel bad, go for a general feeling, such as ‘aliveness’ as described above.

Step outside, it works better outdoors. And allow yourself some time to feel into the desire.
It doesn’t always come straight away.
It is a practice.

But remember, we are all human beings with desires.
It is ok to want certain things for yourself.
And when we connect with the feelings behind our desires, we attract them more easily.

As with everything I believe this is all about balance.
Allowing ourselves to feel our desires, without going into a spiral of negativity about what isn’t working.

So my biggest tip is just spend a few minutes at a time working on this.
Keep it general, keep it light.

And if you are still struggling, find someone who can help you find the shifts you are looking for.

Questions for you:

I would love to know whether you have a gratitude practice and how it helps (or maybe hinders) you?
Or what makes you feel alive and how do you know you are feeling it?

You can leave any comments in the box below or email me at [email protected]

Love and best wishes

Michele xxx