Who Do You Want To Be?
I have still been trekking right along in my Q&A 5 year journal and have really loved all of the questions that I've had to answer in one way or another. The questions make me stop and think about little things I haven't ever spent much time thinking about and don't allow my indecisiveness to win. It is a lot like tweeting because you only have a certain number of lines to get out what you want to say and by the end of those lines, I have 8 more lines that need to explain why I wrote what I did.
The latest question that has stuck with me was January 31st. Who do you want to be? What a tricky but yet easy question. I want to be the woman that I am. I want to make people happy while making sure that I am happy also. I so desperately want to be an amazing wife to my husband, a great mom to our future children, someone who inspires students, and the type of friend that my friends know they can lean on. Each of those make up the person I desire and hope to continue to grow into for different reasons.
Please don't judge my terrible handwriting
The Best Wife I Can Be. One of the things that I love most about Michael is that he lets me be who I am. In the almost 9 years that we have been together, I have always felt and feel comfortable telling him my goals and aspirations, my fears and worries, my hopes and dreams for the future because of the way he supports me. He never doubts or diminishes my feelings and although we do NOT agree on each others viewpoints pretty often, I don't feel as though he judges me differently. I can only hope that I give him that same feeling. There are times when I know that I am not present enough and when I think back on it, I get frustrated with myself. I want him to always know how much I adore him, how important he is to me, and how much I love and support all of his dreams that he has. Showing him, telling him, and reminding him of all of these things can only strength our relationship. I am a work in progress.
The Best Wife I Can Be. One of the things that I love most about Michael is that he lets me be who I am. In the almost 9 years that we have been together, I have always felt and feel comfortable telling him my goals and aspirations, my fears and worries, my hopes and dreams for the future because of the way he supports me. He never doubts or diminishes my feelings and although we do NOT agree on each others viewpoints pretty often, I don't feel as though he judges me differently. I can only hope that I give him that same feeling. There are times when I know that I am not present enough and when I think back on it, I get frustrated with myself. I want him to always know how much I adore him, how important he is to me, and how much I love and support all of his dreams that he has. Showing him, telling him, and reminding him of all of these things can only strength our relationship. I am a work in progress.
A Better friend. My friendships are so important to me and I am looking forward to learning how to be a better friend. I tend to keep people at a distance, not because I don't trust them but because I am very independent. I don't tell a lot of my worries or excitements because I often feel like it is something I need to work through alone. I think opening up and allowing people to be a part of my life is something that I will continue to grow and learn from. One of my main goals is always to be present. It is so easy to just know that your friends will be there when you need them but who am I to decide when it is that they need me? I am trying to be better about being a present friend. One that my sweet friends know will be there if needed and can rely on.
An Inspiring Teacher. This is huge for me. I don't go to work every day because I have to. I go to work because I love to. Teaching is my passion. It's where my heart belongs. There is absolutely nothing like ending a day with small or big triumphs with my students. I want to be someone that they remember forever as being someone who loved them, supported them, encouraged them, and allowed them to be who they always wanted to be. My students mean the world to me and I hope to be the best teacher I can be for them, every. single. day.
An Amazing Mom. I was so very blessed to have an amazing mom and dad, along with an awesome grandmother and grandfather who showed me what family truly means. I am forever thankful for the memories my parents filled my mind and heart with and look forward to the day when I can do that for my own children. I don't feel incomplete without children, I just have high hopes that I will be the loving mom that my mom was to me and look forward to loving with the intensity that I get to see friends and family members love their children with. It is definitely exciting to think about having a little baby Ashley or Michael to love on, care for, and take care of. And I can't help but think of what an amazing dad Michael will be.
Getting to hold our sweet baby niece for the first time. Pure adoration.
Do you see what I mean about not having enough space?! I pretty much need a whole journal to answer some of these questions. What would you have put if it was you? Who do you want to be?
Do you see what I mean about not having enough space?! I pretty much need a whole journal to answer some of these questions. What would you have put if it was you? Who do you want to be?
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