Ho, ho, ho... and a bottle of rum.

Two beautiful ornaments gifted by Ally. I am anti-tree, but I love ornaments.
Here is my alternative to a tree!
It's that time of year again. Holidays.
For me, I -hate- Christmas.
Don't get me wrong, I adore giving gifts. I LOVE surprising people, and fairy lights are the best thing on earth. Not to mention the days off work.
But the mess with the trees and the garland and the parades and the music and the sugar plums and expectations of being at everyone's house all within a two day span. It's all a bit intimidating for my poor anxiety, especially since I'm now working through some new medications.
Treating anxiety long term is difficult. The most effective medication - benzodiazepines - are easy to get addicted to and easy to gain a tolerance to. SSRIs, meant to treat depression, are only a partial treatment for panic disorder, and my new doctor is trying a few off-label treatments to see if I can tolerate them.

Mostly I'm doing alright. I'm actually still getting dressed most days (with thought and care for what I look like). I drive myself to work now, instead of relying on someone else. I've come a long way in 8 months.

I've been officially embroidered into a sweatshirt for my company. How strange it feels some days. My life isn't the only one that's changed. I've watched people come in with very little and go from people down on their luck to hard working individuals. Those people stick with me very much, and make me feel like my job is worth it, even when I see others fail.

More importantly, I'm in a place where I'm making a difference.