Celebrity Big Brother: The Line Up

Once Christmas & New Year are out the way (I had a good one, thanks for asking), one thing that you can be certain to liven up an otherwise dull January is the winter edition of Celebrity Big Brother.

I’ve said it before, the January CBB is always the best, it’s a fact.

2016’s winter CBB was probably my all time favourite, closely followed by the previous year. No one could have predicted the explosive shenanigans we were treated to on a seemingly daily basis and this year the producers have a lot to live up to.

I’ll be honest, I did an eye roll when I saw the line up for this years ‘All Stars/New Stars’ series. It’s a bit ‘meh’. I had high expectations of Perez Hilton, Katie Price and maybe even uber gobshite Katie Hopkins. Alas, the latter wants to be in the outside world for the inauguration of Donald Trump later this month (slight arrogance on her part to think she would have made it in the house that long). ‘Rent a gob’s’ like to stay together it would seem.

Anyway, the time has come for me to voice my opinion on the illustrious(!) list of housemates. Some of them I’ve had to Google. Some of them I know like the back of my hand.

Nicola McLean – Former Page 3 model

Seasoned Reality TV pro Nicola was previously in the house back in 2012, alongside Frankie Cocozza (remember him?) and Denise Welch. Ms McLean isn’t one to shy away from confrontation. AT ALL. So I’m sure we can expect some fireworks from her. Having been in the house before, she knows how to play the game.

Calum Best – Model and Reality TV star

Another Reality TV professional, Calum won the series back in 2015. Now, I like Calum. I’ve had a crush on him for what feels like years, in fact I even tweeted him to tell him that a few years ago. He tweeted back “likewise”. It made my year, but then I remembered he says that to all the girls so the shine rubbed off somewhat. Calum will be laid back, he wont enter into arguments and he’ll try and be the Gentleman. However, if a lady or ladies take his eye, you can bet your house on the fact he’ll be in there like the proverbial rat up a drainpipe.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, Former ‘The Hills’ stars

These 2 appeared on CBB way back in the Summer 2012 and didn’t they ever make their presence known. Now, I didn’t really watch that series, I think I must have had a life back then, however, I certainly read enough about them to form some sort of opinion. They are known for causing trouble, never steering away from a row and basically always wanting their presence to be known. They caused many an argument when they first appeared on the show and I just know they won’t disappoint this year. You’ll likely want to throw something at your TV on occasion.

James Jordan, Ex Strictly Come Dancing Professional

There’s just something about this bloke I really don’t like. When he first entered the house back in 2014 he didn’t come across awfully well. He’s another celebrity I’ve always referred to as Rent’a’gob, he won’t think twice about giving some shit on Twitter. In fact, he nearly won my Our Rach Award for Twitter Twat, but no one can come close to Kanye West in that respect. James is a bit of a stirrer, he’ll always say it how it is, no matter the potential consequences and will want to leave his mark on the house. I don’t give him long in there, he’ll get on peoples nerves.

Jasmine Waltz – Actress

Jasmine was part of a love triangle 3 years ago on Celebrity Big Brother and I loved every minute of it. The bloke in question was Lee Ryan; someone I really hoped would be entering the house this year. Jasmine will always say it how it is and I wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up in another ménage à trois this year. Of course, Calum Best will be involved. Fun fact: Jasmine reportedly punched Lindsay Lohan in the face on a night out back in 2010. So that’s nice.

Austin Armacost – Model

Appeared in CBB a couple of years ago, another series I didn’t really watch. Apparently had a bromance with the eventual winner of that series.

Coleen Nolan

Celebrity Big Brother just wouldn’t be what it was without the addition of a Loose Woman. Fresh from her recent marriage woe confession, Coleen will of course resume the role of ‘Mother Hen’. Coleen will be quite popular, she came second in the 2012 series of the show. I do wonder, however, in light of her trial separation from her husband if she’ll be in the right frame of mind for such a demanding show. Especially if there are some shit stirrers in the house.

Ray J – Singer

Apparently the highest paid star in the house this year, receiving a reported £800,000 fee, I bet the producers are hoping he delivers for that. Ray J is arguably most famous for starring in a sex tape with little known celebrity Kim Kardashian and I can’t help but wonder if he’s been slapped with a gagging order preventing him from even mentioning the woman’s name. Much to the disappointment of the producers (and viewers) I’m sure.

Angie Best – Mother of Calum Best

Bit of an odd one this. We’ve had husband and wife, brothers, sisters and even Mother and daughter way back in 2007 but I can’t recall ever having a Mother and son in the house. Angie and Calum are famously very close, so their dynamics could be interesting to watch. I can imagine if Angie were to get involved in some sort of row with another housemate then Calum wouldn’t be the laidback person I’ve got him down as.

Jamie O’Hara – Footballer

This is an interesting signing for me. Allow me to tell you why. While Jamie is a footballer, personally I think he is probably better known for his antics off the pitch as opposed to on. Jamie O’Hara is the ex-husband of former CBB housemate Danielle Lloyd (less said about her appearance the better). They went through a rather acrimonious split a couple of years ago. A very well publicised, acrimonious split. I can imagine he’ll be wanting to change public perception and possibly wind his ex up a little. As a footnote, fellow housemate Nicola McLean used to be very good friends with Jamie’s ex-wife and only as recently as last week both Nicola and Danielle were involved in a rather public spat (all because Danielle named her new dog after Nicola’s son, as you do). BRING ON THE DRAMA.

Stacey Francis – Singer

I’ll be honest, I haven’t a clue. A quick Google search informs me that Stacey was once on the American X Factor. They really will stick anyone in the house won’t they?

Bianca Gascoigne – Model

As soon as I saw she was predicted to enter the house, the first name I thought of was Calum Best. If they haven’t been there before (they probably have), then I’ll stick my house on the fact something will happen. Even if it’s just a showmance (which it will be).

Brandon Block – DJ

I’d heard of his name before but didn’t really know who he was. Apparently he was a well-known DJ back in the nineties. According to the press, he lived quite a hedonistic lifestyle back in the day that brought with it quite a few health problems. I just hope the house of horrors won’t be too much for him.

James Cosmo – Actor

Little bit surprised to see this chap in CBB, considering he’s from one of the most talked about shows of the decade; Game of Thrones (never watched it). You have to seriously question why an esteemed actor who has starred in Braveheart, Trainspotting and other big named films, would even consider entering CBB. Each to their own though, perhaps he’s got a tax pill that needs paying.

Interesting mix of housemates, I predict a few rows, at least one showmance and perhaps 3 meltdowns. And that’ll just be the first week.