15 Ways I Was Wrong About Motherhood
A few years ago, I was standing in line at the grocery store when a 2-year-old in front of me was begging his mom for a bag of candy he was holding is his hands. The mom told him that he needed to put it back and that he could have a piece of candy from their collection at home.
As you know, a two-year-old does not like to be told “no” so he started crying…hysterically. The mom was frazzled and started to lose her patience with the boy. As I watched it all play out, I thought in my head, “When I am a mom, I will NEVER be like that.”
That wasn’t the first and only time I thought that. I thought I would NEVER lose my temper. I thought I would NEVER have to say no. I thought my baby would NEVER cry. I thought I would NEVER look like a hot mess. I thought I was going to totally handle the whole motherhood thing flawlessly!
But soon after this experience, I became a mom myself. And I quickly learned that I was wrong about motherhood. In fact, here are 15 things I was completely wrong about.
Photography by Christine Olson Photography
1. MOMS MAY NOT ALWAYS BE PATIENT, BUT THEY SURE TRY THEIR HARDEST: My patience has been tested a lot in my life. In fact our family motto is “The best things in life are worth waiting for.” I thought after I finally had a baby and became a mom, my patience was at it’s peek and I would never lose it again. I have learned that being patient is hard for moms. Trying to juggle so many roles is a challenge and patience is truly a virtue. No matter how hard a mom tries, tempers can still be lost.
2. MOMS KNOW WHAT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT REALLY MEANS: I never believed in love at first sight, but the moment they laid my newborn baby in my arms, I immediately knew that it was a real thing! I felt like I knew her. I had waited for her for so long and I was absolutely in love… instantly!
3. MOMS ARE DIRTY, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN THEY SHOWER: I always thought when I saw moms that were dirty, they were gross. It didn’t take long for me to be “that mom” that had poop on her pants, shirt and sometimes even in my hair. Being dirty is just a part of you when you become a mom.
4. MOMS UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN THERE ARE NO WORDS: When I would hear kids jibber-jabber and their moms would say, “Oh! She just said that a dog says ruff and a cow says moo and recited the whole alphabet,” I would look at them and think they were crazy. As an outsider, all it was, was a bunch of mumbles. But now I know, that moms really do understand their children! They understand what they need and want, even if they others don’t understand.
5. MOMS HAVE HARD DAYS, EVEN IF THEY CAN’T EXPLAIN WHY: I always thought, “How could staying at home with a baby all day be THAT hard? You just get to play all day!” I was wrong. Being at home all day with a baby is a ton of work. You are taking care of another human being! That in itself is hard!
6. HUGS AND KISSES ARE BETTER THAN MONEY: I thought giving up a paycheck would be rough, because let’s be honest – having money is nice. BUT, I have learned that hugs and kisses are the BEST paycheck in the whole entire world – truly priceless. Sometimes I have to steal my hugs and kisses, but I still get them every single day {even if I have to be a creeper mom and sneak into her room at night while she is sleeping and kiss her}.
7. MOMS LOVE BED TIME AND THERE ISN’T ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT: Speaking of sneaking into her room at night – moms LOVE bed time and that is TOTALLY fine! I use to think it was crazy that moms liked putting their kids to bed. No. Having that alone time with the husband at night is incredible and needed.
8. MOMS ARE POWERFUL; MORE POWERFUL THAN THEY KNOW: I love the quote by Boyd K. Packer, “There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.” Moms are so powerful in their homes – they truly are the glue that keeps everyone together. What we say and how we act, has a complete affect on everyone under the roof of our home.
9. MOMS NEED QUIET TIME AND THE TV IS OKAY TOO: I couldn’t stand when I saw moms just put their kids in front of the tv to keep them busy, and now I am SO that mom. If I am doing the dishes and my baby is trying to “help” by pulling all of the knives out of the dishwasher, I will totally plop her on the couch and turn on cartoons. I learned that that is completely okay and there is nothing wrong with that. With the craziness a house can get, it is nice to sit in front of the tv and have some quiet time watching a movie every now and then.
10. MOMS DON’T REALLY LOVE CLEANING EVEN IF IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DO: I remember when I was little I would always tell people my mom’s favorite thing to do was clean! I also thought as soon as I became a mom cleaning dust would be sprinkled on me and I suddenly would be a magical cleaning fairy that LOVED to clean. Sadly, that didn’t and doesn’t happen. Moms love to have clean houses and we do clean a lot, but it doesn’t mean we love actually doing it.
11. MOMS CAN’T ALWAYS GET READY EVEN IF THEY WANT TO: I always thought I would get ready every day and look like a perfect, flawless mom. I quickly learned after I became a mom that even when I have the greatest intentions to do my hair – it sometimes doesn’t happen.
12. MOM CARS ARE A STRUGGLE: This one makes me smile. I use to judge moms when I opened the car door and they said, “Okay! Hop in!” And there were smashed fishy crackers, old McDonald’s cups and torn books everywhere… I am so embarrassed to say, I understand them now. Mom cars are THE hardest things in the world to keep clean! Even if I vacuum the whole thing out, within a few days it looks like another tornado came through.
13. MOMS ARE INFLUENCERS IN THEIR FAMILIES AND COMMUNITIES: When I think of moms, I think of what a HUGE influence they have not only in their families, but in their communities. Think about the influence a mom has had in your life. I can list SO man moms that have made me who I am today. “Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.”
14. MOMS MAKE MISTAKES AND THAT IS NORMAL: I always thought moms who didn’t parent exactly like I thought I would parent, were doing it wrong, but it is so true that “there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” We all parent different and all have different views, but it doesn’t mean that anyone is wrong. We each make mistakes, which gives us opportunities to grow and learn.
15. MOMS EXPERIENCE THE GREATEST HAPPINESS OF ALL: Motherhood is by far the most rewarding and happiness-bringing role a woman can hold in this life. I thought I knew what the greatest happiness felt like, but then I became a mom and it surpassed anything I had ever felt before.
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