Scheduling Life

Currently, I am sitting at 25,000(ish) feet, on a flight to Philadelphia. Airplane wifi is a beautiful thing, y’all – I have no idea how we survived without it for the past 2000 years.

It’s dark out my window. I got about four hours of sleep last night, and have a LONG day of work ahead. The Starbucks cup next to me is filled with their seriously hot Blonde roast. In the next two and a half hours, I have social to schedule, business cards to order, emails to answer, and ambassador payments to make (all for work) … yet here I sit, blogging.

The sunrise sure was pretty though …

Counting this post, in the past three weeks I have blogged a total of 3 times – all on the weekends. Ask any blogger who has been doing it long enough, and they would tell you that this course of action is pretty much suicide for your ‘numbers’. Posts must be on the weekends. They must be relevant. They must go live at specific high-traffic times. They must be regular and at least 3 times a week.

To be quite honest, fuck all that noise.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how busy this Fall was going to be for me as well as the whole family. And it has been a complete whirlwind. It’s absolutely crazy to me that we’re now in November. I *swear* we were just planning for our trip to the beach … and that was June. Summer. How are we now gearing up for Thanksgiving and planning Christmas lists? The RED CUPS came out this week, y’all. And to be blunt, we still have a couple more weeks of insanity here in the Tottums household – this trip that I’m just starting is not near the end of the craziness.

I’m not going to lie – I’m mentally stressed. The Husband gets exasperated with me, and can’t figure out why things on my calendar freak me out so much, and I remind him there’s no good reason … but this is who I am and he knew what he was getting in to when he married me (the three ring wedding planner binder I started creating when I was oh, 21 years old, should have given it away for him). When I start feeling this way … when the only things I can focus on are the 42 projects at work, the Mouse working on his homework, the crappy dinner for my kids that should have been way more healthy, the piles of laundry that haven’t gotten attention in two weeks, the event at school that I just don’t have time to help out with and am feeling the guilt over … I tend to shut all the other ‘stuff’ out.

My point is – this blog is my place. I am now mentally at peace with my site. I want it to grow, I want it to succeed, I want to maintain this really great community of people who show up to read, comment and share … but I am okay with doing all of that on my schedule, whatever that may be. I am okay with the fact that this site will never be my ‘real’ job. I will never make a living from it – this is a hobby. A hobby that I take very seriously and plan on working at very hard, but a hobby nonetheless. I still care about numbers, I still care about good content, I still care about finding great sponsors who help fund my Starbucks addiction – but I also care about my sanity. I care about my kids getting the best of me, and not just what’s leftover after I get ‘my’ stuff done. I care about remembering there is a life outside the interwebz.

Maybe I will feel differently about all of this come Thanksgiving … when my world slows down a little bit. Maybe not. Changing my mind is also okay. If you’re still with me through this hiatus (and this incredibly pointless post), I appreciate it – you have no idea. It’s great to read the supportive comments from moms, bloggers, and readers who all ‘get’ it. Thanks for being fab.