Let’s Talk: Being Young & in a Long Term Relationship

Let’s Talk

I know there have been a flurry of these advice-type posts in the blogosphere as of late (every blogger knows they are good for clicks), but I didn’t want to write something preachy for sake of it. I know sometimes it can seem like bloggers are authority figures because they write things on the internet, but more often than not, I’m as clueless as the next gal. What a way to start a post, Carrie!

That being said, I’ve had a few emails from girls over the past few months that have got me thinking that now I’m well into my 20s, perhaps I do know a thing or two about what it’s like growing up and can reflect upon results of decisions I’ve made. Hopefully a little bit of this will be able to help a few of you making some of those decisions now.

Boys & Stuff

I’ve been with Miguel since I was fifteen – that’s nearly nine years now. Having one boy/man in my life whilst growing up doesn’t always make me the best at dating advice, but I can certainly tell you what it’s like to be in a long term relationship so early in your life.

There have been people even in the past few years that might have said things like “Don’t rush into things” or “don’t you wish you’d met later?”…these people are usually older, and still haven’t got to the point in a relationship that they can understand where I’m coming from. None of that matters to me. If you’re with your best friend, you still get excited for them to come home from work every evening, and you don’t mind washing their dirty socks, you’re doing something right.

Don’t let anybody else dictate your feelings based on their experiences.

I had a young girl get in touch regarding her relationship and going to university. I was in the very same predicament aged eighteen. I remember posting to LiveJournal asking for advice – I’d found a few fashion courses I liked, but they weren’t near where Miguel would be studying, and after nearly four years together I couldn’t bear the thought of us being apart.

Of course, the responses told me not to be so silly and to ditch my teenage boyfriend and concentrate on my studies. It’s lucky that I’m headstrong, as this would have been completely the wrong decision for me.

Fomo

We ended up at universities so close to each other that we were able to move in together. Being at a university in London, there wasn’t the same party atmosphere that you might find at campus universities in smaller cities, which suited me just fine as I’d never been interested in drinking and partying. Perhaps this is part of the reason that things work so well with Miguel and myself – we’re the same in that respect.

People might tell you that you’ll miss out if you go to university with a boyfriend or girlfriend – miss out on meeting new people, parties, and even experiences, but being in a healthy relationship shouldn’t hold you back at all. 110% trust, coupled with the fact that you shouldn’t be spending each and every waking moment with each other (you must remain your own person!) means there is no reason for FOMO.

And talking of missing out, I’ve never once regretted my decision. I can’t say this for sure, but I’m pretty certain that growing up with the best guy I know is preferable to awkward one night stands and endless Tinder swiping.

But it’s important that I stress how much of this is down to you as an individual – we all want different things out of life, but if that thing happens to be spending time with someone that you love, don’t let anybody, irrespective of their age, tell you otherwise.

You can meet new people, you can travel, you can complete your studies and forge a career, all with somebody by your side.

I hope this has been of some interest to at least a few of you – I know it’s a rather specific topic and perhaps not everybody will be in agreement, but I’d like to think knowledge comes from experience!

If you had any questions, feel free to leave a comment, anonymous or otherwise, below. And as usual, I’d love it if you shared your experiences, too. x

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